Listed below are extracts from the book with statements of faith. But not using words like a preacher would. Here they occur in ordinary conversation, usually between two or more struggling teenagers. Click Read more... to see any additional information. Use the Search box in the sidebar. E.g. Entering forgiveness will bring every post containing this word.
Sometimes, God hides himself from us, lets us get really low because it's the only way he can remake us as he wants
I stopped doing anything with Carole months ago. God knew that. Why is he treating me like this now?’
‘There will be a reason, and it will be a good one. God doesn't let things like this happen for no purpose... And we must remember that even though he forgives us when we go wrong doesn't mean we can escape the consequences. But whatever they are, he never abandons us... So, maybe you had to find out some things about yourself and other people.
... but at times God puts us through wrong feelings to teach us what he can't in any other way. Even when there's a risk that our self-control will fail.
In God's eyes, every one of us is wretched in one way or another. That's why all the words in the opening lines of that great hymn are so important. 'Amazing Grace—that saved a wretch like me.' God's grace can save us from every sin there is.
Charlene related what had taken place since they parted earlier that afternoon. Her confusion at all the God stuff. Peter's anger, her shame about going on to the street. The beating and the belief that God was punishing her. How she couldn't fight back anymore and had wished she was dead.
‘I've never wanted to top myself before, not even when pa was messing with me. But I did tonight when I stood on that bridge. It seemed right. For the first time, I realised what a terrible person I was. How I was nothing like you, and I'd never be. And that's when it happened.’
‘What... happened?’ Janet asked, squeezing Charlene's hand and wiping away a tear.
Charlene described the blinding light, the man with the searching eyes, and the child. ‘They were both staring as if they knew everything about me. I couldn't turn away. They drew me towards them like when you looks over a cliff. Then the man held out his hands. Oh, how I be wanting to fall into those arms! I was sure they'd save me. But I knew I could only do that if I let go... So, I did. And at that moment... I felt so happy. The shame of all the terrible things I'd done... it had gone. Because—I don’t know why—I was sure, the man still wanted me in his arms despite knowing all that. I guess it sounds silly... but it wasn't then. It was real.’
Charlene shook her head. ‘Honestly, Janet, I wasn't dreaming. I knows that. But I'm sure the priest thought I'd been at the bottle. He saw no white light or anything else.’
She paused. Her excitement gone. Sadness now filling her face. ‘But the man and the kid weren't there anymore. As if they'd given up on me. Like I'd lost the one chance I had... Then I remembered what you said. About a God who loves and forgives everyone. I'd laughed and said it couldn't be true. Not for me. But then I thought... what if it was? What if the outstretched hands weren't for me to jump but to believe this stuff? And then I didn't want to die. At least not if what you told me about God was true. So, I need you to be explaining it again... Was the man holding the child God?’
Janet thought for a bit. ‘The Bible says you can't see God and live. It might have been Jesus, but even St Paul only saw a bright light, not Jesus himself. However, God's Spirit can give people visions, so perhaps that was what you saw. Something that came from God to help you understand his love and care better than any of my words. I've never had that happen to me, but Dad knows people who have had this experience, and Peter told me of a dream that I'm sure was a vision from God.’
‘Then, you don't think it was God?’ Charlene sounded disappointed. ‘You do believe me, don't you?’
Janet took Charlene's hand. ‘Absolutely. I have no doubt you saw something God intended for your eyes only. And that cannot be explained by our ordinary experiences... Just who the man and the child were, I don't think is so important, much less than its effect on you. It stopped you from wishing to give up your life, brought you from danger to safety, and made you want to find out more about God... Charlene, God has a purpose for your life, and he wasn't going to let you throw it away. I believe what you saw was a vision of a child, like Betsy, trusting because Jesus wants you to do the same. And you were saved from drowning because you did let go on the bridge. Because you trusted what you saw.’
‘I did!’ Charlene cried excitedly. ‘When I let go, I was sure he'd catch me.’ Charlene shook her head, ‘But Janet, he didn't.’
‘No, but the priest did. And that's just how God works. He uses people, especially those who believe in him. The priest was there just at the right moment, and he did what you asked. Bringing you here.’
Confusion filled Charlene’s face. ‘Jesus... Is he God?’
‘Yes, in many ways.’
‘But why should God care about someone like me? Who everyone thinks is rubbish. Even kids.’
‘I don't think of you like that. Neither does Peter. And God certainly doesn't. He loves you, just as you are, and it doesn't matter what the world thinks.’
‘This is too – well, I dunno. So strange... How do I know that God cares like you be saying?’
‘The Bible makes his promises clear. But what may be most important right now is what you feel in your heart. I think you realise that something extraordinary occurred tonight. That when you were perhaps in greater despair than ever before, God spoke to your heart. And he allowed tonight to happen, maybe even played a part in arranging things this way, to get you to think about him. I don't know for sure, but God has used painful situations to shake me up. What you saw in the water made you believe he wanted you close to him, and by letting go, it was like you saying, 'Yes, I want that too.'’
‘Janet, you said something about... if I'd let God. I thought he was more powerful than anyone. So how can I be stopping him?’
‘God won't force you to accept and trust him. He has the power, but he doesn't work like that. If you reject him, he won't be happy, and he'll go on trying to make you listen. But you can live your life ignoring God.’
Charlene pulled a face. ‘Looks as if that's what I've been doing. What if I want to give God another go?’
Janet smiled. ‘Belief isn't like some household product that you throw away and buy something else if it doesn't do what you want. Accepting Jesus is a once in a lifetime decision, and when you do that, you are born again. Not literally, but you become a new person in almost every way. New priorities, new standards and a new best friend, Jesus, to talk things through with. And you change outside as well. People will notice you're different.’
‘Do I have to go to mass? Like ma. And stop doing things I shouldn't. Do good things instead.’
‘No, you don't need to do any of this to start with Jesus. He accepts you just as you are. There aren't any admission requirements, except a little bit of belief and trust in him. However, changing the way you behave will definitely follow. But if you want Jesus in your life, all you do is ask.’
‘That's really all?’
‘When you ask God into your life, that prayer is always answered immediately. At that moment, you receive God's Holy Spirit. And you only ever need to ask once. Because whatever happens after that, even if you stop believing and go back to ignoring his will, he'll never let you go. He may need to do things to bring you to a place where you have to trust him... and that can be painful. But you'll never be alone again.’
‘Why should God forgive someone like me? Who's done so many bad things. And keeps on doing them.’
‘Because God loves you, Charlene. Which is why he sent Jesus to die on the Cross. To pay the price for your sins, so he can offer you the gift of forgiveness. And he didn't do this because you or any of us deserve it but because he knows it's the only way the wrong in the world can be put right. Someone had to have enough love to take the punishment for our wickedness and then hold out a hand in forgiveness. And that's what Jesus did. Setting us an example, so we can do the same for people that have hurt us. Like it says in the prayer he taught us. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.’
‘God would really be doing that for me? It sounds too good to be true.’
‘By the ways of the world, it is. That's one reason why so many people ignore God today. However, although it's simple to invite Jesus into your life, it is often far from easy to follow him. The devil tempts us back into our old ways by sowing distrust in our hearts and kidding us that following him will give us a better life. That's one reason why churches exist. For people who believe to support each other when they slip up.’
‘So, I just say something like 'God, I want you.'’
‘Sort of. We have to start by admitting the things we've done wrong... Exactly like you did on the bridge when you remembered the mistakes you'd made.’
‘But only some.’
Janet smiled. ‘That's fine. When we say sorry to God, we tell him that we want to change and try to do better. And we’ve got to mean it... because he will know if we don't. The posh word for this is repent. Like you'd do with a friend who you'd let down. Then, you must acknowledge God's authority over your life. That it's no longer yours to live as you please and that you want Jesus to guide you in everything. From now until the end of your life on this earth.’
‘And what happens after that?’
‘If you have put Jesus in charge of your life, then when you die, you go to live with him in heaven.’
‘How would you be knowing that?’
‘Because of what it says here.’ Janet picked up her Bible. ‘This verse is perhaps the one to start with. It's my favourite.’ Janet flicked the pages before kneeling next to Charlene.
‘Look,’ and tracing the words with her finger, Janet read slowly, ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.’
Charlene took the Bible gently. She spoke softly. ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that... if I believe in him... that if I, Charlene O'Reilly believes... If I believes, I shan't be perishing... but have eternal life.’
Charlene's face was filled with the first real smile that evening. ‘That be lovely. Is it really true?’
‘Yes, I promise you it is,’ Janet replied. ‘Do you believe it, Charlene?’
‘I want to.’
‘Do you believe that what you saw tonight was Jesus showing you your life is precious to him? That by dying on the Cross, he forgives you for everything, absolutely everything you have ever done wrong. Or ever will do. And that he wants to come into your life right now. As your Lord, to help you live as God has always intended. Do you believe that?’
She watched as Charlene's eyes returned to the words, and her fingers touched the book lightly. Janet closed her eyes and prayed silently that her clumsy attempts to explain the faith she held so dear would be enough. She thanked God for his everlasting love, said sorry for the things she had done wrong that day, and asked that Charlene would accept Jesus. Then, just as Janet was wondering what else to pray, she heard a gasp. Charlene was shaking, her hand covering her mouth.
She looked straight at Janet with tear-filled eyes. ‘Yes. Yes... I do. I do believe... in Jesus. Oh, Janet, I'm sure I saw him tonight, and he did save me on the bridge. Despite what I've done.’ Taking a hand from her mouth, Charlene reached out as sobs shook her body. Tears of joy formed in Janet's eyes, and sitting on the chair arm, she hugged Charlene.
It took several minutes for Charlene to stop crying. Then, still holding her, Janet prayed quietly. ‘Lord, thank you for bringing Charlene back safe tonight. Thank you for the faith she has shown. Please make her feel your presence now and for the rest of her life. Amen.’
They remained in each other's arms for a while, and then Charlene spoke. ‘God, Lord, Jesus... I don't know what to say 'cept... I'm sorry. I've done so many bad things... I've had a baby, and well, you be knowing all that. I've used my body as I shouldn't. I've stolen, lied, cheated, and I hated my pa. I killed him. I didn't mean to, but I let him die. I'm so sorry... Please be forgiving me. And thank you, Jesus... for saving me tonight. I don't deserve you to think anything of me. I don't go to mass. I don't read this book. But I am wanting to be different. Like Janet. I don't know how, but I will try, I promise. Please be helping me.’
When Charlene opened her eyes, Janet saw fresh tears. But now, running down a face filled with joy.
She got a towel and gently wiped Charlene's face. Then, smiling, Janet kissed her on the head. ‘That was a lovely prayer.’
‘I didn't tell God everything,’ Charlene looked so serious.
‘That's OK. God doesn't look at what we've done wrong like we might a list of things to get from the shops. And if we forget about a sin, we don't get forgiven. No, all he expects is that for the things we do remember, things he puts into our mind, we apologise, put them right if we can, learn from our mistakes, and try to do better.’
‘But what if I fail?’
Janet smiled at the look of concern on Charlene's face. ‘When we fail, and we all do, we say sorry and get forgiven again. And provided we are taking our mistakes seriously, there's no limit to how many times this can happen.’
‘God must be really good to work like that.’ Charlene turned the pages of the Bible slowly. ‘I must be having one of these. Begorrah, there are some really long words!’
‘We'll get you a Bible tomorrow.’
The Bible says that God's love and forgiveness extend to all of us, regardless of who we are or what we have done.
No, you can keep your God. It looks like it works for you. But what real trouble have you had? And that girl, Sue, she's got her mum, her kid, and nice people like you around. God hates street shit...’
‘You mustn't think like that,’ Janet interrupted, ‘He loves you no less than me or anyone else... I don't know why you suffered as you did. There are many things about God we just cannot fathom. We have to trust and believe he never stops loving us. And that he's always with us. Particularly when we're hurt or in trouble.’
‘That be a lot of comfort as someone tries to split you in two... When you feel blood running down the back of your legs.’
A quick glance at Charlene made the inadequacy of Janet's words clear. ‘I'm sorry, I know what I'm saying might not help right now, but it is what I believe. And it did end, didn't it?’
‘Yeah. I call the shots now. And get paid for it.’ Charlene looked at Janet scornfully. ‘I think you believe in God because he's always looked after you. Because he be giving you an easy life. You've never been testing him to see what he does when you're really in the shit. Maybe the worst thing that's been happening to you is when some whore steals your sweetheart.’
‘My mum died.’ Janet bit her lip. ‘That wasn't good. The woman who married Dad is unfaithful, and she hates me. And I've hurt him because he knows that I got involved with another woman, slept with Peter and lied about the trip to Ireland... But despite all this, all my mistakes, wickedness, I know Jesus keeps on forgiving me. Even though I don't deserve it.’
... often, good intentions on their own don't work. We need God close, guiding us over the things we should or shouldn't do and giving us the strength to resist temptation... When I said no, just now, I wasn't simply telling myself I mustn't. Something inside made me see it was wrong and helped me fight against what my body wanted. And I got this help because I'd asked God for it.
God can make good things happen out of sinful acts... Remember that guy Joseph with the flashy coat who got thrown in a pit by his jealous brothers? Their wickedness enabled him to save a nation from famine.
She smiled. ‘Peter, Jesus is with us right now. Listening and guiding what I say. He's become someone I can share anything with—a real best friend. And when I do this honestly, comfort and guidance come back. And that's where you need to be